I was thinking about certain things regarding BSDM and my vanilla life.

For me it’s not complicated, I can separate things.
Sometimes I feel like a freak but not in a good way. It seems like I will never find a dom because I believe I never fit in their standards. I’ve always understand people, I mean, I understand what they want and what they are looking for. But sitll don’t have a dom. Sometimes it just feels I’m wasting my time and I’mnot enough for them..
I don’t have high standards and I respect what people like or not. Shouldn’t be difficult, I’m not demanding or anything.

Regarding to my vanilla life it is always so dramatic. I’m a very straight forward person. I use to say I’m a free spirit, very easy-going, don’t care about lot of things, don’t lie and stuff. But somehow people don’t care and don’t understand me. I know¬†I’m not the problem.
Maybe people just hate me or find me disgusting.
That’s why I’m always frustated.

It is just a little bit of me at this moment, it is way more complex than this.